Dealing with Fear of Anticipated Loss and Anticipatory Grief

The COVID-19 outbreak has highlighted the very real fear of anticipated loss and anticipatory grief. Anticipated loss is any loss that has not yet occurred but is expected or assumed to take place. This loss could by physical (i.e. death of a loved one), economic (i.e. the loss of income), or even emotional (i.e. the loss of a relationship).

The expectation that this loss will occur then causes grief which can manifest as sadness, anger, depression, fear, anxiety, and isolation, among several other complex emotions. Anticipatory grief was initially identified by psychiatrist Erich Lindemann in the 1940’s while studying the wives of World War II soldiers who were so sure their husbands would die in combat, they mourned their loss and moved on while the men were still living (Bulger, 2020).

COVID-19 has created a situation where anticipatory loss and grief are thriving. The newness of this virus and the many unknowns regarding its physical impacts and how to treat it, coupled with the increasingly growing number of lives lost leads to the anticipatory loss of life. The uncertainty regarding how long social distancing will be a norm and the impacts that it has on businesses and industries leads to anticipatory loss of jobs and income.

The unknowns about how long social distancing will last also leads to anticipatory loss of relationships as people try to cope with not being able to see/connect with family and friends. All of this means enhanced fear, increased anxiety, and more stress.

However, there are ways to deal with anticipated loss and anticipatory grief during these trying times.

Think Before You React

Our gut responses to our situations aren’t always the best because they are often purely based on emotion. While our emotions aren’t necessarily wrong, sometimes acting immediately on them can be detrimental. Taking a moment or even a day to process how we feel before we act can help us respond in a healthier way and with more mental clarity (Razzetti, 2020).

Reframe the Circumstances

While things going on around us aren’t the best, they aren’t all bad either. There are some positives in the midst of these negatives that we can look at to help reshape the way we see this pandemic.

For instance, the increased time with family or the ability to slow life down a little. By taking some time to find things (no matter how small) to celebrate and be grateful for, we can maintain a positive perspective that is essential for helping us stay hopeful.

Find Ways to Connect

While it can be tempting to isolate yourself when dealing with anticipated loss and anticipatory grief, it is important to find ways to stay connected to others. Connection with others will sustain you during times of grief, fear, and doubt, whereas isolation only acts to further feed your fear and anxiety. Connection to others will offer you the strength and support to keep going when you feel tempted to give up.

You are not by yourself during this taxing time. As we all do our best to navigate something we have never dealt with before, it is important we offer each other support and understanding. In doing so we can help one another manage our negative emotions and find the silver lining that will sustain us until life resumes to something that resembles what we once knew.

References:

Razzetti, G. (2020, April 7). How to cope with uncertain times. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/202004/how-cope-uncertain-times

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